Do you have any children?

We have to distinguish between the two legal status which are granted on daughters and sons:

• The Guardianship and Custody is granted to both parents, or to one parent only if there is only one recognised parent, from the moment of birth. It refers to the daily care and supervision of the child, which includes all the activities that are carried out when the son or daughter lives at home, such as food, hygiene, health and affection. In case the parents are separated or divorced, these responsibilities are distributed between them, and each parent must fulfill them when the child is in their care.
• The parental authority is the set of rights and responsibilities that parents have over their minor children who have not been emancipated. It includes making important decisions related to the education, health and general well-being of minors. It is usually shared between both parents, even after a separation or divorce, unless a court determines that one of them is unfit to exercise it. Withdrawing parental authority from one of the parents is a complex process that only occurs in cases of very serious and demonstrable misconduct in the care of the sons and daughters.

What are the consequences of gender-based violence on children?

There is a strong connection between the child abuse and gender-based violence, as noted in the last report of the Government delegation against gender-based violence. According to this report, of the total number of women who have suffered physical, sexual or threatening abuse by their partners or ex-partners, the 63,6% of their sons and daughters witnessed these abuses. Of those cases, the 92,5% indicate that the minors were under the age of 18 when they witnessed the events.

Girls and boys who are sons and daughters of victims of gender-based violence are also victims. Direct abuse is not the only form of child abuse; Witnessing violence towards their mother also leaves them with consequences as severe as those that would leave a physical blow. It is increasingly recognized that the exposure of children to situations of gender-based violence against their mothers constitutes a specific form of child abuse.

The exposure of children to this type of violence generates effects similar to those caused by direct abuse, such as emotional problems of internalization (fear, isolation ...) and externalization (aggression, disruptive behavior ...).

There is a clear relationship between exposure to situations of violence and various problems in children, such as: poorer academic development, greater difficulties in integrating into school, the perception of negative interpersonal relationships between peers, lower self-esteem, physical and mental health problems and even an increase in drug use or problem use and risk of addiction to the internet and social networks.

Working with children who have been victims of gender-based violence is a challenge. It is important to consider that they have grown up in an environment that not only justifies or allows violence, but also lives and suffers it, especially in their closest relationships. For them, their mother is seen as a victim and their father as an aggressor, instead of perceiving them as protective figures. This influences their way of socializing and will have long-term consequences.

Breaking this cycle requires the intervention by professionals trained to teach them that violence is not limited to physical aggression, but also includes fear, humiliation, abuse of power, intimidation, among other aspects. It is essential that these professionals work empathetically, without pressure children, allowing them to gradually come out of their bubble of protection and express what they feel and think. The task is not to relive the painful moments or to ask them for details about what happened in their home, much less to judge the parents with comments such as “your mother should have reported” or “he'll go to jail”. Our goal is to help them overcome an extremely difficult situation, not to delve deeper into the suffering they have already experienced.

Its attention must be comprehensive, taking into account a gender and rights perspective. Only in this way can we not only help them overcome what they have experienced, but also ensure that they become adults who reject violence in all its forms.